TRUSTING GOD IN THE MIDST
Let’s rewind to two years ago. I was in my senior year of college at the end, towards graduation and the future. I’m crossing off the check list, getting ready to take my graduation photos, getting my cap and gown and suddenly the “BIGGEST” obstacle in my way blocks me. There are two classes in the way of me graduating at the expected time frame.
You know those moments where you pray to God and ask him to really come through this one time and you’ll really get serious about what you need to do, only if he makes a way this one good time!? Well, that was me. How do I sound making a plea bargain with God? So crazy.
I’m meeting with teachers left and right, trying to meet with advisors to fix my grades, gain extra credit, just something that prevents me from repeating classes and erases my status of graduation not completed. I did not want to become a failure. I don’t know if there are any people that can relate. I wouldn’t call myself perfect by no chance, but I was usually very organized and had a plan for things , so that I wouldn’t put myself in these situations.
I never failed in school with grades, and this was very shocking, and at the same time very humbling.
I’m not going to lie, I was very doubtful, ashamed, confused and hurt. Even though God made provisions for me to meet with Deans to consider my grades and my status, nothing was looking up. The realization settled in, and I came to terms that I was not going to graduate with my class. I felt like such a failure because I wasn’t only letting down myself but the people who supported me! My family and friends were in my corner, but it was so hard to explain to them why I wasn’t graduating.
So much remorse and anger was reserved for God, and I thought what was I going to do!? What was my next steps? I questioned where God was in the midst of all of this. How could he let me (a person who was “GOOD”) go through all of this and not succeed. How crazy are we sometimes that we think that we deserve the blessings of God because of our good works?
Clearly it says that we aren’t offered blessings here through good works or because of the good person that we are. Grace is offered only though God, and that in itself is a privilege.
How selfish was I? Where was my trust and faith in God through all of this? It’s funny how quickly our complaints ring louder than the promises we know of God. God has come through before but we are so quick to forget those times when another trial come. Perhaps, these trials are here to make us stronger for the next and to build our character and trust through him. It’s not the trial, it’s how we deal with the situation before us. Do we bury our heads down in sorrow and fear or do we rise up and proclaim who God is to us, and what he’s done before?
Through much prayer and talking with my mother, who reassured me of who I put my trust in, I turned to God. Literally he was my only answer. I put it all in his hands. No I didn’t forget my issue but I refocused my energy.
I knew of the same God that had brought me out of worse situations than this, so was I going to doubt him when I know he could do greater!?
I faced reality, but I didn’t let reality cloud my mind and tell my faith where to go.
I began to trust in his promises for myself, and I began to encourage myself daily.
I spoke scriptures and affirmations over myself as I scrolled through the pictures of graduating classmates.
I had a great support group of friends and family to be there through this time.
I let God know about frustrations , and doubts and watched him turn the perspective around.
Even though I wasn’t able to graduate that May with my degree, God allowed me to still complete the necessary classes to graduate the same year. In December of 2016 I walked across that stage, and obtained my degree that God awarded me and built me to obtain. I trusted him with my next steps, and leaned not on my own understanding.
I want to encourage you to trust God. The situation may look nearly impossible, but I want you to know that you are absolutely not alone. You are never alone. God is right there with you. If he allowed you to get to this specific point, you think he’s going to leave you here? No! My God says he will never leave you nor forsake you. This is the time to cling closer to him like never before and leave the distractions alone.
Please don’t give up!
Please keep pushing and know that through every situation God strengthens us and we are able to help others!